attitudes lattitudes

What a great class on engagement.  June and Sara did a wonderful job and I think they were surprised and pleased with the level of engagement of the class.  I was  nervous when we had to sit in the circle, without the tables I felt exposed and there was a sense of vulnerability.  Then we learned we would speak about members of the class, I sensed an uneasiness with everyone, including myself.  We all fidgeted and made jokes to cover up for our hesitation to participate.  Wow, once we started, we couldn’t stop. I enjoyed speaking about my classmates and it was satisfying to say things that you think but never actually say to a person. It was a very worthwhile activity.  I wonder if it was the circle or the fact we all know each other that allowed us to speak so freely.  I believe both had an effect on our successful exchange of thoughts and ideas.

When we have staff meetings at work we use a big conference room with a long rectangular table or we sit in the director’s office at a small round table.  We have to squeeze to fit at the round table but as I reflect, we seem to get more accomplished at that little round table than sitting in the big conference room.   I enjoyed Blocks, “Caring about Place.”  I think it is so true.  I will never forget my first class in the adult education program.  We walked in and started moving tables around and the professor sat amongst the class.  This was not the type of classroom structure that I had experienced in the past.  I learned to be engaged in the class.  As we read chapter 19 in Block, the section on learning verses teaching really hit home for me as a student and an educator.  

We can use these tools of dialogue and engagement in so many aspects of our life.  That has been the major discovery in this course.   I hope to remain cognizant of what I have learned and continue to develop these skills.  Our feedback meeting could be successful if we can connect with all members of the meeting.

The more we learn explore the process consultant, the more we discover the importance of authenticity and communication.  Jenn and Demietria did a wonderful job of demonstrating the difficulties that arise when giving feedback to our client.  Despite our preparation and practice, it can be difficult to remain on task.  The client may or may not be receptive to our feedback and they can change the direction of the meeting.  The key seems to be in our communication.  Did the client listen and understand the needs of the consultant, and does the consultant understand what the client and employees said.

As I read about dialogue for the next class, I realize how important talking and listening can be to every phase of consulting. Nancy Dixon explains the way both sides communicate affects what we learn and how we grow.  This is true for the individual and the organization in which we work.  Can we ever be truly honest at work and rid ourselves of the “defensive routines?”  I speak at meetings in a guarded manner, revealing only what I feel is safe.  I’m fairly honest, I want my voice heard and I want to hear others, but as I read Dixons examples I can now see how learning is limited when we stay in Model I.  I think fear prohibits honest dialogue.  Fear of being misunderstood, fear of looking foolish, fear of offending others, fear of being arrogant and fear of the consequences.  I think how we listen is the other flaw in effective communication.  Schien talks about the assumptions we have and our listening skills.  I have replayed our first client meeting in my mind and tried to recall if I missed something in the dialogue. Did I listen but not really hear?   We are all guilty of this at times, clouded by our own agendas and perceptions.  My husband and I spoke today about our plans for next weekend, something we had already discussed, and discovered we had completely different recollections of the conversation……not the first time that has happened.   Maybe Block and Schien will can help, ha!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ylwa1oKV3Mc

The resistance presentation couldn’t have been more timely.  At the start of this course, I felt lost with the prospect of completing this project.  Then I had a series of three very productive phone calls with a perspective client and I was flying high with excitement. 

• The client’s problem seemed manageable, this was my first misconception. 
• I felt like I had explained our role and needs as consultants and that they understood our roles, my second misconception. 
• Finally, I believed that I understood their wants and needs, my third misconception. 

Then with all my misconceptions in hand, we had our first face-to-face meeting. 

What a mess!  Everything fell apart.  Despite the practice and preparation, I felt lost.  The client seemed to take control of our meeting.  During one of the phone call’s they said that we could meet with the nursing aides to do a focus group on the same day as our first meeting.  We realized it would be premature to collect data before developing a contract with the client, but the client seemed anxious to begin the process and stated that they had limited opportunities to gather nursing staff at the same time.  This was my ignorance as a consultant to allow the client to take control.  I felt like we had built a good rapport from the many phone conversations.

Since class, I have replayed the meeting over and over in my mind.  I keep asking myself how we got so off track?  Maybe I should have been alerted to the client being overly compliant on the phone.  Block states you should use yourself as a gauge to resistance and I was certainly uncomfortable at the meeting but felt helpless to respond.  I found myself repeating our roles.  At the end of the meeting, they seemed only interested in getting answers and in how we would fix the situation.  The meeting ended abruptly and I was handed an email address and asked to forward any suggestions.  I believe the presenting problem is very different from the real problem and I hope we have the opportunity to redefine the problem for the client.

We have sent them an email (a memo) that thanked them for their time and restates our position. It outlined our needs and their needs from the project.  I waited several days and no response.  I called and was forwarded to voice mail, left a message and still no response.  I’m now at a loss………and very frustrated!

So much of our readings in this course have revolved around human emotions and this week was no different.  I think almost anyone could identify with something from Schein’s chapter on the Intrapsychic Process.  I would like to think that I’m logical in my reactions to a situation and not judgmental, but behavior is often instinctual.  The example with Steve,  made me reflect on my own reactions in recent faculty meetings about a clinic manual.  The entire process has been stressful and members of the committee have been angry during meetings.  I have been reacting in a negative manner to one particular faculty member based on their comments in our first meeting.  I took things personally and out of context and  I now realize it has effected my behavior and judgements in subsequent meetings. We also have cultural differences in the office.  The tone and body language of a faculty member was misunderstood for a while and I had to teach myself about this other culture.  Gaining more knowledge, I have been able to filter my perceptions and expectations and our communication has improved.  If I’m aware of my own reactions and the root causes, I will improve my behaviors and act like a process consultant.  I believe our perceptions of the situation and perception of the data will be a critical step in our success.  The example with Dave and his child, ouch, that hit home.  I can really see how the steps in process consulting can improve personal and professional relationships.

Tonight was a very productive and informative class.  We are all reading the same text, but are views and interpretations are across the board.  As adult learners  we have such diverse and rich experiences to bring to the discussion.  It makes for entertaining and rewarding conversations.  The discussions helped to  clarify our roles as consultants and the steps involved. 

I still have difficulty with the types of clients.  When reading Block, I understand the definitions in the literal sense.  When applied to a case or a business dilemma, I can usually identify the characters.  It’s more concrete in my mind when applied to managers, line workers and supervisors.  The subjects are less clear when I try to apply them to work or my personal life.  I can’t seem to put people into client categories.  I wonder if I’m the only one who struggles?  Maybe I’m over thinking the idea.

The best segment of class, was the mock phone call.  You prepare in your mind and feel  confident to place the call.  But then, something strange happens to your voice, blah blah blah.  It doesn’tsound as poised as it did when you rehearsed it in your mind.   Similar to the chapter on inquiry, the probing questions seem very logical to read on paper but to implement them is another thing.  Then to complicate matters, the client ask questions that you didn’t anticipate.   I’m not good thinking on my feet.  I need more time to digest the conversation. Jonathan was a great mock client and challenged my delivery.  I found it to be a worthwhile exercise.  I have made some notes, put more thought into my phone call and I feel more confident.  I’m more excited about the project and I hope to make some phone calls this week.

Who is the client?  Seems to be an easy enough question, but when I began working on the homework assignment the answer was not so clear.  I never imagined there were so many types of clients and I found it difficult to categorize and define the roles of each  person.  The greatest revelation from the assignment, was grasping the importance of inquiry and understanding when functioning in the consultative mode.  I did not fully appreciate the perspective of my client until I began to ask probing questions.  The primary client can’t benefit if their needs and motives are not understood, and the other clients in the scenario must continually be considered and evaluated.   The consultant must continue to look in the mirror and be aware of their own strengths, limitations and biasis. 

A couple of weeks ago, I thought this seemed like an easy, straight forward process.  The more we read, the more complex it becomes.  Inquiry of clients is a skill and  you can’t remove human emotions.  As someone who want to always please, I have some work to do if I want to successfully facilitate the contracting skills referred to by Block.  I hope to learn consulting skills and implement them into my personal life as well as my professional life. Nancy’s checklist seems like an ideal recommendation to follow and I especially like #6, #7 and #8.

As I read more of  Blocks thoughts on being authentic, I realize the depth and breadth of consulting. It is so much more than I had imanged.  Being authentic is truly the key to building relationships, professional or personal.  I was particullarly struck with the idea of confronting obstacles and resistance early on so they don’t turn into bigger issues down the road.  That is easier said than done.  As a client, I would be afraid of confronting or questioning someone who I view as an expert and hired to help.  As a consultant, I would be so aimed at pleasing my client and getting the business that I would keep things to myself.  The latter is how I often react, but it’s true those unresolved or unsettled ideas come back.  Being complacent or trying to please, it not being authentic.  It is always more productive to be honest and open. It is difficult to  examine our own agendas and be honest with our feelings and motivations.  If we cant look in the mirror and truly assess ourselves, it will be difficult to identify with the culture and roles of those we are building relationships.  I liked the way Schein renames the contracting phase, referring to it as “exploring mutual expectations.”   I will keep that in mind as I continue in this course.

Oh blog it’s been so long…..will I remember how to communicate effectively, will anyone read my thoughts, does anyone care?  Maybe a consultant can offer some assistance.  Hmmm.

What is a consultant?  I had always thought of a consultant as someone who imparts knowledge and expertise to those in need.  The need can come from a desire to improve or a necessity to do/be better.  My preconceived idea of the consultant definitely assumes the person to be an expert or to possess the technical skills, as Block refers to them.  I have been surprised by the numerous references to the relationships and human side of consulting.  Although I believe interpersonal relationships are crucial in our work, I would have never put authenticity and consulting in the same sentence.  My limited experience with an external consultant felt like a very sterile business relationship.  It will be interesting to explore the many facets, techniques and skills involved in consulting. The consultant should serve as a mentor or facilitator to the client.  I’m anxious to understand the collaborative role and implement these skills into my own life.

I was very busy this semester and I did not read the blogs of others.  I’m sorry for that now.  I will spend some time going back to read and consider the thoughts of others.   I think there are many things to be learned by listening.

I recently heard someone speak of the personality triats that come through when looking at blogs.  The font, the style and colors used, beyond the content.  I’m lucky to get my post published.  There are no fancy colors.  How boring.  I will work on that, I’m much more animated at times.  I have felt constrained by my blogging and challenged with the technique.  It’s time to be free!!!!!!

The other issue has always been time. There is so much to do these days….why is the more technology we have the harder life seems.  Maybe I’m technologically challenged.  I thought all these advances would make our lives easier.  I have  more passwords than I can count, four phone numbers, a few email accounts and blog pages.   Who can keep up……  Do we really take the time to think and reflect?  This has been difficult for me.  There has been pressure to write the blog, I need to hurry and get it done to get to the next task.  Maybe if I improve my time management skills and become more organized then I can relax with blogging and focus more on myself.  Maybe reading other blogs will give me that sense of community that I have not felt. Maybe it’s just a mom thing, taking care of it all; or maybe it’s my own crazy self who prefers to have too much piled on my plate.  My husband says I can’t sit idle, but I do feel a slowing trend emerging.  I guess that’s just age.

Until the next time………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The pink elephant……..Do we have a pink elephant and do we want to discuss it?  The exercise discussing any issues within the group during the semester was uncomfortable at first.  It is difficult to address problems within a group. Nobody wants to hurt anyone’s feelings or confront their own inadequacies. I feel we have all learned through the requirements of this course.  We had minimal issues that would be classified as “pink elephants” and we were able to  resolve any conflicts.  It was interesting to me  that we all had similar concerns as we began our work together.  The forming and storming is difficult, but can result in a strong group when successful. This process is needed to understand all the members in the group and build trust. I honestly think that we all learned something in the end.  Sometimes it took until the end, before we could realize the  productivity that took place. 

I will be a better person and a better member in future groups from the insight I have gained from this experience.